Image Source: LOL Movies, Star Trek: First Contact

1. You always get the green girl.
2. You have the cushiest chair in the joint.
3. The Captain’s stash of Romulan Ale.
4. You get to regularly say things like “Fire at Will” and “Number One.”
5. At some point, probably due to a rift in the space-time continuum, you’ll get to meet your Evil Twin.
6. Things that don’t work right now will be fixed by Tuesday.
7. If you blow up or crash the ship, Starfleet will just build you another Enterprise.
8. Private Captain’s holodeck hours. (Worf with the Wesley Crusher wig. ‘Nuff said.)
9. You can ditch the Prime Directive whenever you want.
10. Starfleet lets you bring your dog onboard.
11. You’ll inevitably quote Shakespeare at some point, but only in the original Klingon.
12. The self-destruct can always be turned off with your code.
13. Even strange ladies from 1985 will buy you dinner and beer, just ’cause you’re awesome.

Bonus: In TNG, you’re one of the few “red shirts” who returns from away missions.

A few fun links I found while writing this post:
LOLTrek: First Contact
Top 10 Things I Hate About Star Trek
Top 10 Star Trek Moms
Entertainment Weekly’s Top 10 Star Trek Next Generation Episodes
Top Ten “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” Episodes
100 Greatest Things About Star Trek

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Thanks AppleJedi and Scott B.

–Farscape is coming back! Come along 1812! Can I get a “Hell, yeah”? (Imaginary crowd: Hell, yeah.) Remember why this show was fantastic?

–Subversive and sparkly Kresley Cole. I have some reading to catch up on. To quote Dear Author: “Cole’s books are female-centric with the female myths playing larger roles. Instead of the brotherhood or the male cadre of warriors, you have a group of sword wielding, smart mouthed, head chopping Valkryries that like sparkly things, nail polish and video games or devious witches that are so beautiful they have to spell themselves to protect others from their personal glory.”

–Post gender marines? We might be seeing women in more combat roles sooner than we realized. Let me know if anyone can direct me to where on the interwebs we can see the print ad described by Broadsheet: “…a print ad that depicts a woman commanding a group of men, with the tag line ‘There are no female marines. Only marines.’”

-More than eye candy. Liv Tyler, Gwyneth Paltrow and Maggie Gyllenhaal talk with the Underwire about their roles in the upcoming Ironman, Hulk and Batman movies. I’m glad these female roles are more than eye candy, but ultimately they’re still sidekick characters. Someday there will be a Wonder Woman movie…Which reminds me…

–Wonder Woman’s new look. Pure awesome.

–io9 Spoilerage. Sarah Connor Chronicles, scene script from BSG ep. 18, and Superman. Oh my. No Michael Biehn, but Brian Austin Green will be a regular. I can deal with that so long as Sarah keeps kicking arse.

–What to do with those improper nights? Read my critique partner Leslie Dicken’s new story, Improper Nights.

–Hey ewe! Don’t be a sheep. Amy Richards’ new book Opting In talks about the faux “Mommy Wars,” and how Feminism has created just as rigid a role for mothers as society has created. Also, Richards’ observation that couples aren’t sharing the primary caregiver role. Good article.

–Funny girls. Salon interviews Amy Poehler about her new movie with Tina Fey, “Baby Mamma,” which is being hailed as the first female buddy movie in a long time.

–Jacqueline Lichtenberg posits all sorts of interesting insights into the movie “You’ve Got Mail.” She asks “What kind of biology would an alien species have to have to avoid this submission-for-fun-and-reproduction dilemma humans face?” I mean, really, most of the time someone’s got to be on top…unless you know something about the the Comma Sutra that I don’t. (I really am still waiting for the “I diagram sentences naked” t-shirt.)

–And you thought LOLCATS were funny. Puntabulous has three LOL funny LOLCAT posts using Battlestar Galactica puns. Chamalla iz teh shiz, people. (The image with this post came from Puntabulous! Thanks very much for letting me use it.)

–So I got a little excited. io9 was talking about Science Fiction Romance and, of course, I had to chime in with my comments. Author Linnea Sinclair also stopped by with a few great points to make on the topic.

First up as a potential Danger Gal is Trixie portrayed by Christina Ricci in the upcoming re-imagining of Speed Racer. At the Tribeca Film Festival, Ricci has actually considered her character Trixie from a feminist point of view and said:

“Trixie is Speed’s childhood sweetheart. He’s his best friend and confidant; his partner in crime. In some ways, she’s the feminist ideal model. She’s as girly as she wants to be, she’s into her hair and outfits and makeup … she has a special outfit for each activity, but at the same time she’s into all the things the boys are. She’s never judged or given the irritating title of ‘tomboy’ and that’s important for young women. Young women tend to watch the reaction of men around older women and they see if someone’s judged, positively or negatively, in too strong a way. Young women shy away from making those kinds of decisions.”

In the cartoon, Trixie did little more than moan and yell “Speed!” a lot, so I’m really looking forward to how they might have developed the character. Rebecca Murray mentions that Trixie is “an outgoing young woman who’s equally unafraid of dressing girlie and kicking a little butt” and quotes Ricci as saying:

“It was really fun. It’s fun to play someone who’s a little bit cartoonish. They dressed me up like a doll, but then they let me go and fight people and race cars and fly a helicopter so it was fun…It was really fun and it was something that I loved because that really is the sort of ultimate feminist thing where you can be as girlie as you want to be, but you’re still as capable and as able to do everything that the boys can do. But I still want more.”

Trixie evidently isn’t just the girlfriend of Speed Racer, but an important member of the Racer family’s racing team. Sadly, some of the stunts Ricci enjoyed doing ended being cut. Still, I’m hoping for a positive re-imaging of Trixie.

Next up is Shana ‘Scarlett’ O’Hara from the new G.I. Joe movie and portrayed by Rachel Nichols. I’ve mentioned Scarlet before, and liked what I read about her in the G.I. Joe character guide:

…Scarlett had a natural affinity for the ancient fighting arts and was only fifteen when she was awarded a black belt. Scarlett and her sister Siobhan never got along well, and they drifted apart as they got older. After joining the Army, Scarlett received a varied education, attending Covert Ops School, Marine Sniper School, Special Air Service School and the Marine Tae Kwon Do symposium. Scarlett has participated in many martial arts tournaments and is also qualified as an Army hand-to-hand combat trainer. She is proficient in various weaponry, including the XK-1 power crossbow and many martial arts weapons such as throwing stars, garrote and ka-bar.

When I first saw these promo movie photos, I have to say I wasn’t enthusiastic about her costume as it compared to Duke’s and Ripcord’s, but looking at her comic book attire I can kind of see the inspiration. Still, her suit has all sorts of “armor” over the breasts, none between them (like where your heart is in the middle of your chest) and her backside implies a thong. Considering costumes only, I’m more interested to see what Cover Girl’s character is like.

Lastly, is the character from a movie we know the least about in this group. The Gatchaman movie is animated, just like it’s predecessors and will be based on the original Japanese version of the story rather than the Americanized Battle of the Planets and G-Force versions. Still, those latter two versions are how I came to know the character of Jun (Princess/Agatha June). Wikipedia has an informative table explaining how the different versions relate to each other.

Jun/June/Aggie has a slightly different kind of character in all of the versions of the series, and each version has different levels of how the male characters treat her as well as how seriously her skills are taken overall. Absolute Anime describes her as the following:

Jun was discovered by Dr. Nambu in an orphanage, and, after insisting he take Jinpei along as well, was trained with the others as a Science Ninja. She is a highly capable fighter, able to handle a number of Galactors without blinking an eye, and is an expert with explosives and electronics as well. Occasionally, however, her actions cause her to get into a pickle that requires the rest of the team to come in to rescue her (though she’s far from the only one).

Here’s to hoping the new movie continues with the forward-thinking aspects of Jun’s character and dispenses with the paternalism that sometimes showed itself in the original series.

I consulted several bigger Star Wars nerds than me to come up with this list. Many thanks to the AppleJedi, Scott B., and Mr. Fumanchu.

1. You get to spend all day in your robe.
2. Two words: Light. Saber. (”Is that a Light Saber under your robe or are you just happy to see me?”)
3. Electric blue luminescence and death are no match for The Force.
4. You get to fly all of the best ships, pods and speeders.
5. Never have to pay a bar bill.
6. Location, Location, Location. The Jedi temple has the best parking on Coruscant.
7. Get to grow a beard even if it isn’t the Stanley Cup Playoffs (for the guys anyway…).
8. Backflips, you don’t need them, but WTF?
9. Never having the droids they’re looking for.
10. Targeting computer, Pshaw!
11. Negotiations always go well for you.
12. Everything is justified “from a certain point of view.”
13. Only reprisal for losing an entire planet is Yoda dissing you in front of the younglings.

BONUS:
The Jedi mind trick would come in handy when tormenting the cat.
Because tauntauns are warm on the inside.
The ability to see into the future could be very profitable.

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We’ll be giving away prizes throughout the day so be sure to drop by and say hi to Gaskin, ask him questions, or to just join in the fun. Each comment you make enters you to win a prize!

Gaskin is more than just a pretty face, he’s also studying Physics at the University of Hawaii. Interviewer Janice Lynn says that Gaskin is:

Real as in the good-looking guy you had a major crush on while growing up. Real as in the guy next door you wished would notice you. Real as in you don’t suffer worries that your bra would fit him better than it fits you. Real as in someone you’d introduce your best friend to, your daughter to & keep your fingers crossed. That kind of real.

Lynn goes onto point out that Gaskin isn’t overly polished: “You didn’t have a fake tan, veneers, over-styled hair, or muscles that could give a woman a complex about her own chest size. I really like that ‘realness’.”

We hope this future physicist continues keeping it real.

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Tyrol: Yeah, well… it’s breakfast, lunch and dinner until someone finds a hot fudge planet.

That quote above has nothing to do with this post. I was just amused by it. I’ve been under the weather since Friday, so that’s why I’ve been MIA most of this week. I’m blaming the punchy humor in this post on the meds.

In the comments of last week’s BSG post, commenter Brian asked me to elaborate on the Ship of Lights and/or Beings of Light. So, here goes.

Below, the Final Five from the D’Anna Beirs/Number Three’s vision of the Kobol Opera house in the episode Rapture.

1. In scripts for the episodes for which they appear, the Beings of Light were also referred to as “Seraphs,” a term implying a connection to Seraphim, the highest ranking angels in the Bible.

Left, the Beings of Light from the Original Series episode “War of the Gods, Part 2.”

2. The Beings of Light appear in three episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Galactica 1980 and are represented not only by ethereal beings clad in white sparkly robes, but also by three specific characters: Count Ibis, Angela and John.

3. Count Iblis appears in the original series episode “War of the Gods,” as a rogue Being of Light who kills Apollo. The Beings of Light then take Sheba, Starbuck and Apollo onto their ship, resurrect Apollo, and give them directions to Earth. Watch part one and part two of this episode.

4. Angela appears in the Galactica 1980 episode “The Return of Starbuck,” which explains Starbuck’s final fate through a dream as retold by Dr. Zee. In this episode, Starbuck finds himself stranded on a planet, alone, after a dogfight with Cylon Raiders. Starbuck builds his own Frankenstein Cylon named “Cy,” who finds a mute and pregnant Angela on the planet and brings her to Starbuck as human company. After a few days of no conversation, Angela suddenly asks Starbuck “Would you die for me?” Angela remains enigmatic and refuses to elaborate on how she came to be on the planet. She also starts referring to her unborn baby as “our child,” meaning her and Starbuck, and indicates a vehicle must be built to transport the baby.

5. The Seraph/human hybrid Dr. Zee is referred to as “Starbuck’s godson,” who is described as having a “cerebral mutation.” (Cerebral Mutation, great band name.)

6. John appears in the episode “Experiment on Terra,” where he helps both Apollo and Starbuck avert disaster on an Earth-like planet named Terra. John enables Apollo to move about on the planet under an assumed identity, so that others actually don’t see what he really looks like. Viewers see both Apollo and Starbuck in the white version of their uniforms the entire time they’re on Terra. (Why am I hearing the Knight Rider theme song?)

7. Count Iblis is pronounced /ib-lee/. (I keep referring to him as Count Chablis.)

8. In these episodes, Starbuck, Apollo and Sheba wore nifty white versions of their uniforms, including white helmets. (Great Halloween costumes, but only about three people would get it. When do you think it will show up on The Big Bang Theory?)

9. At the end of “War of the Gods,” Starbuck, Apollo and Sheba blurt out the coordinates of the Sol system and of Earth. (The Beings of Light haven’t been so specific with Starbuck in the re-imagined series. Poor gal. “We’re going the wrong way!”)

10. Even though Starbuck ships both Angela and Zee off to the fleet in a makeshift escape pod too small for all three of them, Angela disappears before Zee reaches the fleet. (Not a very nice thing to do, stranding Starbuck on that planet when she had no intention of joining the fleet anyway. Evolved much?)

11. A never-filmed episode called “The Wheel of Fire” had Starbuck rescued from an asteroid by the Beings of Light, after which he becomes a Guardian of the Universe. (We can only hope Angela went back for him.)

12. The Ship of Lights can cross between dimensions, not just space. (But this one goes to 11.)

13. Even though he was a rogue Being of Light, Count Iblis’ true form was that of a horned ram/pig type being. (Pam? Rig?)

What does all of this mean for the re-imagined series? For starters, I doubt the writers will suddenly have new Beings of Light characters popping up in the third act, but I do think that Starbuck was with the Beings of Light while she was gone and that’s what she’s drawing over and over again. So, the Beings of Light have been there all the time, just no one recognizes them. The Final Five are intimately connected to the Beings of Light, possibly are them in some way, and we see a hint of this when they are shown in their white robes in the Temple of Five. Perhaps the Final Five have other models like the Significant Seven. I’m hoping we get to see a wholly intact Tigh at some point as one of them. It’s possible the Lords of Kobol are also intimately tied to the Beings of Light, and The One Whose Name Cannot Be Spoken is similar to the rogue Count Iblis, using his powers for evil. (I bet he has a lair full of ill-tempered mutated sea bass.)

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My critique partner, Leslie Dicken, and I were going through our regular whinefest of “Oh woe is me, I can’t ever seem to get any writing done” when we realized how lazy we’ve been, how easy we’ve been tempted by the Dark Side of television, You Tube and Gerry Butler movies. So, we’ve decided to kick each other in the arses to get focused on our current projects. Each Wednesday we’ll each check in with a post on our blogs to (1) report on the previous week’s progress, (2) spell out our goal for the next week, and (3) send out a huge NEENER NEENER to our opponent (OK, sometimes I will offer encouragement as well. Geez, the job of a critique partner is never done…)

Drum roll please…between now and next Wednesday I will finish revising the next chapter of one of my novels. If I fail in this mission I face much humiliation and shame.

Leslie, what say you?